MALOTT HALL– Stephanie Bronson ‘29 sighed assuredly as she did a once over in her dorm room mirror. “It’s perfect,” she thought, “My burlap sack is just right for a day in the Math Library.”
Cornell students like Stephanie have often remarked upon the stylish pressure of campus’ communal spaces. God forbid someone lounges around the A.D. White statue with jeans made after 1992. And athleisure without Alo? Forget about it.
But students have found a haven, a dilapidated oasis for those who wish animal onesies were still socially acceptable: the Math Library. Tucked-in the maze-like ennui of Malott Hall, the weird smell and general air of depravity create a liberating environment for those who wish to study shabbily.
“I wore a floor-length ripped t-shirt from Atlantic City and my Keen Newports, but nothing can be uglier than books about math, so I felt fine,” remarked Ainsley Schmidt ‘28.
“Sometimes I see people walking around in suits on campus and start to feel self-conscious about my Mountain Dew Baja Blast snuggie,” said August Miller ‘29. “But my anxieties evaporate when I remember I’m on my way to the Math Library!”
Others don’t choose the Math Library: rather the Math Library chooses them. Taylor Pritchard ‘27 thought his bleached sweatpants and distressed sweater were giving boho nonchalance, but when his Zeus barista looked him up and down and spat in his cortado, he knew it was time for the Math Library.
Stephanie adjusted her burlap sack as she prepared to enter the doors of 420 Malott Hall (that’s the actual address), ready to hunker down and lock in. Now free from name brands and vintage loafers, this hotelie had full confidence she could really start to chip away at her Placemats 101 readings.
