I’ve been pondering this for some time now, and frankly I just have to get it off my chest. I don’t like you. You piss me off. A lot. Like last week, when you were getting in the line at Libe Cafe behind me, and you almost flat tired me. I don’t care that you didn’t actually do it, and I don’t care that you said sorry, there was a tone in your voice that I didn’t like.
You’re weird and annoying, and you’re not funny. You might think you’re funny, but you’re really not. I know people laugh sometimes, but they also do that behind your back. Don’t you get it? That means they don’t like you either.
Your voice is just so whiny and shrill. How did you even get a girlfriend? Did you beg her? Yeah, I bet you would. Does she just feel bad because you’re such a loser? Because you are a loser. But I don’t feel bad for you, you deserve it. I bet you reply-all on emails, don’t you, just so you can get the notifications, you attention-seeking vermin. People like you are sick. You’ll never get anywhere in life.
Oh wowww, you have a 4.2 GPA? And working at Goldman Sachs this summer! Well I don’t give a shit. Why? You suck. Those gnarly teeth of yours are yellow and your lips move strangely when you chew. You walk funny. Your gait is strange. You waddle everywhere. It is unbecoming. And just because everybody else thinks you’re normal and cool doesn’t mean I need to. Goodbye now, stupid lame idiot weird ugly poo-poo head fart face.
