St. Patrick’s Day

Headlines

Inhabitants of Local Valley Starting to Regret Construction of Hole-in-the-wall Restaurant in Hydroelectric Dam

16 hours ago16 hours ago

Tompkins County DA Relieved to Go Back to Dismissing Other Cases

2 days ago2 days ago

Kotlikoff Also Wondering What Action Cornell Administration Will Take

2 days ago2 days ago

Splitsies! Group Assignment Done By Just You

6 days ago6 days ago

CUPD Claims K-9 Ate Report

6 days ago6 days ago

Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs

7 days ago7 days ago

Only Minority in Friend Group Already Knows Who She Going to Be

11 months ago11 months ago

Ambitious Group Project Member Needs To Take The Fucking Hint

11 months ago11 months ago

Motivational Message Etched Into Library Desk Undermined By Penis Right Beneath It

11 months ago11 months ago

Polycule Sex Cult Still Calling Itself “Co-Op”

12 months ago12 months ago

Local Deviant Rolls in Mud Alone, Unprovoked

Nooz Staff2 years ago2 years ago02 mins

LINDEN AVE—Every weekend closest to St. Paddy’s Day, the student body takes to the streets to drink, party, drink, and drink some more. The resulting mix of vomit, alcohol, and the odd spray of urine creates a muddy sludge that would repulse the average sober person. However, this same sludge has proven irresistible to the…

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Leprechaun Under Linden Street Sewers Suddenly 30 iPhones Richer

Nooz Staff3 years ago1 year ago02 mins

LINDEN STREET—While Saint Patrick’s Day festivities are beloved by students with excessively bright green shirts and the Irish alike, for kleptomaniac and short king Barry Finnegan ‘25, it presents an opportunity like no other: a large mob of drunk darty-ers. Dressed as a leprechaun, the young Irish student spends the holiday shambling in a sewer…

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