Tuesday, November 10, 2026
Company Named After Darth Vader’s Lightsaber Scheduled To Offer Coffee Chats on Campus
Student Wanting Lap Dance Blocks Middle Seats in Lecture
“Why Do Weed-Out Classes Even Exist?” Frowns Crabgrass-Shaped Student
Novick’s Fall Menu Still Just Muddy Puddle Water Scooped Around the Back

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Company Named After Darth Vader’s Lightsaber Scheduled To Offer Coffee Chats on Campus
Student Wanting Lap Dance Blocks Middle Seats in Lecture
“Why Do Weed-Out Classes Even Exist?” Frowns Crabgrass-Shaped Student
Novick’s Fall Menu Still Just Muddy Puddle Water Scooped Around the Back

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
Headlines

Company Named After Darth Vader’s Lightsaber Scheduled To Offer Coffee Chats on Campus

Student Wanting Lap Dance Blocks Middle Seats in Lecture

“Why Do Weed-Out Classes Even Exist?” Frowns Crabgrass-Shaped Student

Novick’s Fall Menu Still Just Muddy Puddle Water Scooped Around the Back

Report: Skepticism Up 60%?

Swing Voter Would Vote Blue But Ughhh Trump Is Soooo Relatable When He Starts Going On Tangents About Men’s Bodies

Aww! Rhode Island Going to Hold Cute Little Elections, Too

Trump Administration Questions Whether Black Friday Got There on its Own Merit

Fun Aunt Put Marshmallows in Hers

“Just Happy to Help”: Dud Brother Unloads Dishwasher

Dining

Travesty! The Dining Hall Pasta is in The Horrible Shape

Nooz Staff02 mins

MORRISON HALL—After an arduous week of classes, the weary, hungry masses gathered in the one place that grants them respite, where the turbulence of life gives way to comforting predictability and dependable mediocrity: The Morrison Pasta Station. However, today, a cruel shock shattered this spaghetti sanctuary and the already-paper-thin wills of many students.  “I have…

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Cornell Dining to decrease portion suggestion from “smidgen” to “morsel”

Nooz Staff02 mins

APPEL DINING ROOM– An internal University memo detailing controversial changes within the food troughs affectionately deemed “dining halls” surfaced this Monday.  Most notably, Dining staff are now being recommended to serve “morsels” of food rather than the previously established “smidgens”. The announcement came as a shock to student dining workers who have recently mastered the…

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