ITHACA –Cornell University history professor Ralph Davis was reportedly bummed to cancel his 9AM lecture this morning on Napoleon’s attempted invasion of Russia. Davis, known on campus for being a young, cool professor, told officials he had written a rap song detailing the event, which took place in 1812 and proved the last defeat for Napoleon’s French army….
OLIN — During an important study period before the last week of classes, Charlie Hodges ’19 was rudely interrupted with a barrage of affectionate texts from his mother, sent randomly and without context on the second Sunday in May. “Dusting your bookshelves and found your old copy of Peter Rabbit!! Remember when you made me…
As a write r and loyal Corne ll st udent , I a pplau d the admin istra tion’ s com mitme nt to free expre ssion . The presi dent’ s fig ht fo r fre e spe ech i s imp ortan t and brave . “Fr eedom of Ex press ion” truly…
AG QUAD – Oh hey, didn’t see you there. I was too busy nibbling on this artisanal gourd I bought at the farmer’s market. Wait, you don’t get your produce from the farmer’s market? Wow, that must make me fresher than you in every way. That’s right. I’m not paying these higher prices just to…
WEST CAMPUS—Local arsonist Tim Martin ‘25 was flummoxed to discover a collection of women’s profiles in his Perfect Match results rather than kindling equipment this week. Though he kept an open mind throughout the process, Martin ultimately felt that his matches were not what he was looking for. “Unlike a typical match, these women did…
OLIN HALL — Finishing up yet another assignment for his Introduction to Python course, rising sophomore Jordan Noble is acing his summer classes while, at the same time, failing at summer vacation. “The course is going really well, I love the professor and the homeworks are pretty fun!” said Noble as all his peers were…
Hey guys, you having a party here? Can I see some ID’s? Thank you. Everybody over 21 in here? Glad to hear it. We’ve been getting some noise complaints from this house, so I’m going to have to ask you to turn down the volume on the music. I’m not trying to be the bad…
This article was sponsored by Cornell Mock Trial, a student group that participates and competes nationally in Mock Trial tournaments simulating a fictional court case. ARTS QUAD — The Cornell Mock Trial team came under fire earlier this week for ambulance chasing, soliciting legal counsel to a student who tripped down the steps outside Goldwin…
DAY HALL—In yet another email to the Cornell community this Tuesday afternoon, President Martha Pollack reiterated her firmly held view that an in-person graduation ceremony would, all things being equal, in theory, be preferable to a virtual graduation event. “I know I might catch some flack for this controversial opinion, but I couldn’t stay silent any…
COLLEGETOWN—As finals wrap up and seniors prepare to move out of their apartments, many have begun to rejoice at the prospect of leaving behind the inflation, underregulation, and rigidity of Ithaca’s housing market in favor of the monopolization, artificial scarcity, and frenetic pace of the markets in new, cooler cities. “I can’t wait to get…
