As a native son of Western New York, I did not get much exposure to Jewish cuisine (or people) before I came to Cornell. But I’ve visited 104West! dining hall several times since I started living around the corner, and I have met many friends there. I’m very grateful for this opportunity to broaden my…
Listen up, you assholes: all of you, with your fake orange beards that look like upside-down Troll hair and your misplaced green Mardi Gras beads, know jack shit about the esteemed religious and cultural meaning of Saint Patrick’s Day. This is supposed to be the one time of the year when people acknowledge the 5th-century…
Terrorizing all who enter the rooms of zombie caution tape and spooky tombstones, the meatloaf is still the scariest thing in Cornell’s dining halls, despite the decorations. “The Halloween stuff is, like, whatever. But when I got the meatloaf I legit screamed,” commented Bryan Wang, shivering at the thought of ingesting the flavorless beef bricks….
BINGHAMTON, NY— This Thanksgiving break, Gwen Swanson ’20 basked in praise from relatives gathered together for Thanksgiving, trying to ignore the fact that she is failing CS 1110: Introduction to Computing Using Python. “Our little Gwenny is always so brilliant and hardworking and a true renaissance woman,” said Swanson’s great-aunt Bertha. “Where else are you…
This post is sponsored by The Skits. Go see The Skits Present: Shouldn’t We Have Graduated By Now – A 25th Anniversary Alumni Show, Saturday, March 10th at 9:00pm in Barnes Hall. Tickets are $5 and available at www.theskits.com or by emailing skitscomedy@gmail.com BARNES HALL—The much anticipated Skits 25th anniversary show hit an awkward patch…
ITHACA-X7, NY – Bright eyed freshmen teeming around campus this August seem to share a similar complaint: Gates hall has got to go. The building, erected in 2014, was once a modern marvel created with a cutting-edge glass, a modern foundation and an innovative solar powered array. Today, the building sits unused and has been…
GOLDWIN SMITH — As the semester begins, Cornell’s numerous a capella groups are starting their search for students who can do a very convincing air guitar. “We have some really good singers, but the fact is that we won’t get better as a group until we find that perfect guy who can mime an electric…
ROCKVILLE CENTRE, NY- Rising Junior Gabriela Ramos has entered a state of panic caused by her inability to reasonably justify the fact that she knows nothing about the current tense state of affairs in the Middle-Eastern country of Iraq. “During the academic year, I can usually brush off things like this by saying I’m too…
STEWART AVE—The many responsibilities of a frat brother can be difficult to juggle. Managing throwing parties, violently hazing freshmen, and covering up said hazing all at once is a tough ask. So when pledge brother Austin Anders ‘26 was put on door duty for Alpha Pi Ro Kappa Delta Gamma’s Halloween party, mistakes–such as welcoming…
DICKSON HALL — A month into fall semester, the Worst Student of the Class of 2020 has officially been announced as James Romm, selected from over over 3200 students of this year’s freshmen. “We are pleased to reveal that, after locking himself out of his dorm room twice in one week, James Romm is now…
