WILLARD STRAIGHT HALL — Slope Day Programming Board announced yesterday over Facebook that Walk the Moon would perform only covers of songs by the late rapper 2Pac for this year’s Slope Day concert. “We sent out a survey last semester” said a spokesperson for SDPB, “and some number of students wanted another rapper, but some…
DAY HALL—Following the announcement of a federal lawsuit accusing Cornell of conspiring to withhold adequate financial aid, Cornell University has offered penance in the form of shelling out further to the university corporate sponsors. “We know this looks bad, but we are committed to making things right,” said Director of Financial Aid Jenn Mackrel ‘84….
COLLEGETOWN- A green Chevrolet Camaro crashed through the windows of Collegetown Pizza at approximately 1:34 AM, early Saturday morning. As of now, there are only 327 reported injuries, most of which were minor. All the passengers of the car, including 2 males and 14 females, sustained no injuries. Cayuga Medical Center reported that this is…
NORTH CAMPUS — The gigantic icicle just outside your dorm has been waiting there for the past few weeks. Gaining strength. Waiting just for you. For the perfect moment to strike. “You have to stop worrying about that icicle,” warns your roommate, but you can’t stop thinking about its ominous presence outside your window. Its…
URIS HALL G01—In his first Intro to Cognitive Science lecture this week, locked-and-loaded freshman Daniel Fabre ‘23 went completely balls-to-the-wall utilizing the mind mapping advanced note-taking technique. “I didn’t have my notebook out while we were going over the syllabus, but then I glanced over to my left and I saw the things he was…
DONLON HALL—With every Valentine’s day comes the Cornell Daily Sun’s Annual Love survey, profiling the love lives of thousands of students on campus. While this year’s survey showed a net uptick in sexual encounters on campus, it also revealed that all sex on campus is being had by one student: Kevin Jameson ’23. Whether it’s…
In a noble effort to be inclusive of individuals from a wide range of backgrounds, the Cornell Office of Academic Diversity Initiatives is beginning to support students who identify as members of the campus hookup culture. “Our mission is to include all underrepresented minorities and have students from different heritages excel,” said a spokesman from…
COLLEGETOWN — In recognition of Yom Kippur, the annual Jewish holiday of atonement during which followers often fast for a full 24 hours, Cornell student Isaac Rosen ’18 has decided to refrain from eating and reflect on the fact that he doesn’t really have any food in his house anyway. “I’m so proud to continue…
NORTH CAMPUS–During a wave of midnight calls to RAs following freshmen locking themselves out of their rooms, one new student’s innovation has impressed residential staff campuswide by managing to lock themselves inside their room. “Honestly, this is just impressive,” remarked James Lansing ‘23, an RA in the new Ruth Bader Ginsburg Hall. “We’ve had hundreds…
ITHACA, NY – Last Tuesday, Freshman Human Development Major, Julia Bowers ‘17, confided to her twitter followers that she may have regrets towards attending school so far north. She tweeted, “28 degrees in October!? I should have just gone to Duke. #cornellproblems #LayersOnLayersonLayers #CantPee” A current resident of Richmond, Virginia, Bowers confided that she “might…
