URIS HALL—This morning, during the 10:10 lecture for Intro to Cognitive Science, a single student sacrificed his class grade for a piece of pure comedy gold: Jamie McCannon ‘19 answered C on a True/False iClicker question, bringing the lecture hall to its knees in laughs. “I never thought there could be so much beauty in…
WESTCHESTER, NEW YORK—Visiting home for the weekend, Trevor Troob ‘27 was surprised to find that every time he mentioned the concept of prelim, it went straight to his head. Though Troob’s ego was already somewhat inflated, after clarifying that prelims were “like the Cornell versions of tests,” he began to realize how much better he…
MALOTT HALL—’Tis the season of Christmas and finals! To gift his physics students a smidgen of holiday cheer, Professor Jason McDougal snuck in a silly little reference to Santa Claus in the middle of his grueling 256-question final exam. “The kids deserve something fun, after crying their eyes out for half the test!” McDougal explained…
MEWS– Freshman Geoffrey Dorman is excited to take part in many college social activities but is reported to have said that he will try pot “just this once.” “I’m not going to make it a habit,” said Dorman of the drug he will eventually smoke twice daily and spend hundreds of dollars a week on….
Over the past few months, a sickening display of inconvenience has been hurled at drivers on this campus. Already suffering at the hand of obscure and sadistic parking regulations, drivers were punished once more when the CUPD closed off the most popular street on campus for no apparent reason whatsoever. What? Do they expect us…
DAY HALL – Helplessly buzzing with anticipation over their next tuition supplement, returning students are on the edge of their seats to find out what fee Cornell will charge them this year. “Personally, my bet’s with something clothing related, like a Hat Fee,” speculated Senior Gavin Treyhoust, who went on to explain that a potential…
CASCADILLA GORGE – In heartwarming news, the Colleges Against Cancer Club is reporting that “No Cave November” has been an astounding success, with 99% of Cornellians refusing to enter caves, caverns, and other subterranean ares since the beginning of the month. “When we began planning the initiative we didn’t know what to expect,” says cancer…
EDDY STREET — At this year’s Parent’s Weekend, total Frat bro icon Ronald Hernandez ‘90 spent his days overshadowing his painfully less-cool son. “The brothers at his old house really seemed to like him,” said son Richie Hernandez ‘ 23. “They invited him back up in two weeks for their big fall party. And honestly,…
OLIN LIBRARY—As Sarah Liang ’22 watched the tenth consecutive Instagram story from an acquaintance she hadn’t talked to since high school, she noticed the one tab at the far left of her browser related to her homework, bringing back memories of the work she set out to do two hours before. Seeing the tab, which…
COLLEGETOWN—Last week, a new boba cafe opened in Collegetown. Four days ago, a new boba cafe opened in Collegetown. Two days ago, a new boba cafe opened in Collegetown. Yesterday, a new boba cafe opened in Collegetown. The most recent addition, Not Your Average Boba Cafe, is located next to a boba cafe, and underneath…
