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March 18, 2026
  • Op-Ed: My Candle Ritual Would Have Made My Situationship Like Me Back If the Fire Inspection Guys Hadn’t Confiscated It
  • Student at Palantir Event Offended By Implication They Support Palantir
  • Short Ginger Friend Hides Box of Edibles at End of Rainbow
  • “It’s 6 O’clock Somewhere”: Upperclassman Begs to Not Pay Bus Fare
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  • Op-Ed: My Candle Ritual Would Have Made My Situationship Like Me Back If the Fire Inspection Guys Hadn’t Confiscated It

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  • Student at Palantir Event Offended By Implication They Support Palantir

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  • Short Ginger Friend Hides Box of Edibles at End of Rainbow

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  • “It’s 6 O’clock Somewhere”: Upperclassman Begs to Not Pay Bus Fare

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  • CTB Declares War on Qahwah House, Fires 300 Espresso Shots

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A.D. White Professor-At-Large Finally Apprehended

Nooz Staff3 weeks ago3 weeks ago03 mins

DANBURY, CT—After decades on the run, Cornell’s Andrew D. White Professor-At-Large was located and taken into police custody earlier this morning. The disgraced ex–faculty member, formerly known as Dr. Robert LeRoy, was forced from his position after a fierce parking dispute and went on the lam in 1965. Later that year, the vengeful Board of…

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