BEEBE LAKE—Birder Ernest Sanford ‘30 reported he was “actually not sure about that one” after a friend’s request for the identification of a bird flying overhead Sunday afternoon.
“Y’know, I can’t quite tell. Yeah. Hm. That’s… yeah. Hm,” stated the birdwatcher politely, having clearly been thrown a curveball. After several more seconds of troubled squinting, Sanford concluded it was “obviously a raptor of some kind.”
Eyewitness Ellie Chen ‘30 described the incident as “disillusioning.” “We were all so impressed when Ernest recognized that blue jay sound last week—I honestly thought he was a bird expert. I guess he’s just a poser,” sighed Chen.
Others present at the post-brunch lakeside walk corroborated Chen’s account, adding that Ernest’s streak of successful identifications that morning had made his eventual failure all the more pathetic.
“This guy knows sparrow, he knows mourning dove, he knows red-winged blackbird, for crying out loud!” exclaimed Ernest’s roommate Travis Wojtkowiak ‘30. “You’re telling me he doesn’t know that big one? What, just ‘cuz it’s high up? Gimme a break.”
“It had that, like… the wingspan was… no, it was too large to be a broad-winged. It was a red-shouldered hawk, I think. Yeah, definitely a red-shouldered. The tail had those black-and-white bands,” decided Sanford, unaware that his credibility had already been irreparably damaged.
Birder Actually Not Sure About That One
