EDDY STREET—Last week, Collegetown bar Level B announced plans for a new promotion, dubbed ‘Underage Tuesdays,’ which would allow patrons below the legal drinking age to enter the bar and be served alcohol.
Experts believe that the move could result in enormous profits for the bar. “Level B may have found a new niche in the market,” said economics professor Stephen Ramirez. “Until now, there was literally no way for students under 21 to acquire alcohol.”
‘Underage Tuesdays’ is not out of the clear just yet, though. Many question the promotion’s legality, citing blatant violations of criminal law. Alex Simeon, head counsel of Level B’s legal team, sees the situation differently: “These lame-ass prudes just hate to see college kids having fun. Bro, we’re gonna make absolute bank off this shit, trust. And honestly bro, if the cops try to shut us down, they’re gonna have to get through me first.” Simeon, who does not hold a law degree, also serves as Level B’s bouncer, bartender, and assistant manager. He was later seen asking a coworker for $20 to pay a parking ticket fine.
At press time, Level B was reportedly mulling the decision to implement new promotions like ‘Future Freshman Fridays’ and ‘Middle School Mondays.’
