Oh, what’s that? Did I go abroad? Oh yes, I studied abroad. Where was I? Well, my home base was Seville, but like, I traveled EVERY weekend. What was my favorite city? I mean, that’s such an unfair question. Deciding between strolling down the Champs-Élysées in Paris or taking in the Trevi Fountain in Rome…
OLIN LIBRARY — So prelims are in the news again. Crazy, huh? Am I right? You ever notice that professors try to schedule exams at the same time? Ugh, give me a break! These guys know what I’m talking about. Why are they even called prelims? What about current-lims? I’m not making this up, folks!…
When you stepped onto campus for the very first time, probably the summer before your senior year of high school, and were lead bright-eyed throughout Cornell’s bucolic paths and hallowed halls on a prospective student tour, what cute little trivialities did your tour guide tell you? Was it good old Happy Dave, cheerfully smiling and…
SAN DIEGO—During their 9:05 lecture this Wednesday, classmates of Elle Sou ‘23 noticed their peer was looking suspiciously attractive and put together. “Like, it’s 6am her time, and she’s wearing a sweater, not even a sweatshirt, will a full face beat? For financial accounting? I mean, you go girl, and do whatever you want with…
MORRISON DINING—After several tense days of negotiations and numerous attempts to sustain operations, the Morrison soft-serve dessert station has shut down. Talks between Cornell Dining and Dole Food Company collapsed early Monday morning, and the Dole Whip dispenser officially shut down at midnight. According to a Cornell Dining staff member, speaking on the condition of…
STEWART AVE—Last Monday, biology major Nick Slattery ‘23 was forced to reconsider his financial situation after his roommate deposited his share of their apartment’s rent into an anthropomorphic monkey shaped black hole. Despite prior conflicts over this very issue, Slattery’s roommate, Jason Schodd ‘23, assured the other members of the household that he was finally…
BLOOMINGTON, IN– After reading a Cornell Daily Sun article that he did not agree with, 45-year-old alum David Waller ‘96 dauntlessly decided to express his discontent in the publication’s comment section. Turning on the caps button on his keyboard, Waller lamented his alma mater’s fall from grace when it comes to political discourse around campus….
ITHACA, NY – Last Tuesday, Freshman Human Development Major, Julia Bowers ‘17, confided to her twitter followers that she may have regrets towards attending school so far north. She tweeted, “28 degrees in October!? I should have just gone to Duke. #cornellproblems #LayersOnLayersonLayers #CantPee” A current resident of Richmond, Virginia, Bowers confided that she “might…
CHESAPEAKE, MISSOURI — Recent reports have shown that the arrival of summer and the associated rising temperatures have led many former non-believers to accept global warming as truth. “Back in the winter, it was very, very cold,” explained Marion Fletcher, a rising senior chemical engineer and self-described frequent weather observer. He went on to say, “Now,…
HANS BETHE HOUSE– Every semester, students use the course oster site to help them select and map out their classes in preparation for pre-enrollment. This semester, however, many students were taken aback by the introduction of a new, true-to-life, artificial intelligence father figure who loudly groaned, sighed, and grumbled every time they attempted to add…
