By Trey Dean, Concerned Ithacan We all know that printed newspapers are a dying medium, and invariably in the future everything will transition online. But I’ve been a loyal fan of the Cornell Daily Sun for year, and now that they’ve announced their reduced printing schedule, I can’t help but wonder what I’ll cut little…
MARY DONLON HALL—While the vast majority of students visited home over Thanksgiving Break, reports confirm that Brian O’Connor (ILR ’18) had a great time staying in his quiet, lonely dorm the past five days. “It probably would’ve been really really nice spend time with my parents, or my dog, or my girlfriend of three years….
BAKER LAB — In the lecture following their second prelim, pre-med student Aaron Hale ‘23 nervously reassured his CHEM 2070 classmates that, despite missing the prelim last Thursday, the curve should definitely bring him up to at least a C. “I mean, basically the same thing happened last time,” muttered Hale to himself, whose grade…
FRANK MORRISON HALL—Animal Science Professor Dr. Cleetus Conroy came under fire from campus critics this week after the revelation that his long standing relationship with one of the lab’s research cows began when she was only a calf. While many had looked fondly upon the human-cattle couple, this new discovery has ignited a hotbed of…
CRETE, GREECE—Reports from the headquarters of Wings Over Crete, a chicken restaurant and fierce competitor of Collegetown’s Wings Over Ithaca, indicate that the company’s stock is in free fall after a series of hubristic business decisions. “Their new wings are way too hot,” complained Tess Sitamaran ‘27. “And I don’t like this gross wax that…
Finally! After an agonizingly long winter, Spring has (sort of) sprung! I’m so excited to enjoy the warm weather and sunshine, picnic on the Arts Quad, and—most importantly—be free of that pesky Seasonal Affective Disorder that’s made the last six months of my life a living hell! Boy, oh, boy, I can’t wait to feel…
In a move widely seen as “misleading” and “unfair” by students and faculty across the Cornell community, the administration announced Friday that Cornell’s Campus to Campus bus would not be adding a stop at the Cornell Medical School in Qatar. “If you’re going to call it a campus to campus bus,” Joe Armisen ‘14 noted,…
ITHACA, NY—Sunday’s meeting of the Cornell Terror Society proved lively and optimistic as members discussed this weekend’s promising events in Iran. “This was our most active meeting in months,” said CTS president Ethan Melander ‘26. “Everyone was really pumped to hear the news. We’ve seen how these sorts of interventions play out—the possibilities for future…
As the newly appointed president of Cornell University, I know I have many challenges coming my way. With tensions rising across college campuses, I have to act quickly. That is why the absolute most important thing for me to do on the first day on the job is to brainstorm a new theme year. I…
BAKER HALL—Students in CHEM 3090: Inorganic Compounds were left cowering in fear this Tuesday as their instructor achieved apotheosis at the close of Cornell’s drop period. According to witnesses, the class started as normal but quickly went off the rails when Dr. Frederica Jackson locked eyes with Samuel Weiss ‘22, who was attending his first…
