By a senior. Wow. Four years. Four years ago, I was an innocent and oblivious freshman, not knowing what college was going to be like and getting lost on the first day of class. I didn’t have a clue what I was getting myself into. And yet look how far I’ve come; in a few…
OXLEY EQUESTRIAN CENTER—Out-of-the-box thinker Jenna Locke ‘26 surprised her friends with the truly novel suggestion that they all get together for an afternoon of horseback riding. The large financial burden and immense physical danger that this would impart on the friend group did not occur to Locke, as she already owns a horse. “I’ve been…
ITHACA, NY – Last Tuesday, Freshman Human Development Major, Julia Bowers ‘17, confided to her twitter followers that she may have regrets towards attending school so far north. She tweeted, “28 degrees in October!? I should have just gone to Duke. #cornellproblems #LayersOnLayersonLayers #CantPee” A current resident of Richmond, Virginia, Bowers confided that she “might…
1. For a fun time with friends, go apple picking at Cornell Orchards! 2. When you get to the Orchards, lose your friends in the trees. You won’t be needing them. 3. Find the man wearing a red coat. 4. Don’t ask him any questions. 5. The man will have an envelope. Take it from…
BARTELS RINK—Enthusiastic and slightly confused Cornell sports fans packed the stands this past weekend at what some called “the strangest hockey game ever.” “I’d never seen anything like it,” shared Connel McMillen ‘25. “The ice rink was rectangular and the players didn’t have hockey sticks. The puck was round and orange and they sort of…
WEST CAMPUS – After two days and dozens of dull conversations with fraternity brothers, Kyle McDonald ‘19 sees his boring hometown on Long Island as a crippling liability that might keep him from getting into his dream frat. “I just feel like if I had a really cool thing to talk about when I introduce…
LOS ANGELES, CA — Hollywood has been abuzz this week as legendary director Steven Spielberg has announced he will be directing his new film Archaeology 2140 on Cornell University’s campus, starring none other than Academy Award-Nominated Actor Harrison Ford. Amblin Entertainment reports principal photography will begin next semester on-location in Uris Hall, with the film…
ROCKFORD, IL—Area graduate student and instructor of MEDVL 1101: Middle English Poetry, Carlos Galarraga, has reportedly achieved a record-setting sixty-two minute period of silence after asking a question about a recent reading to his first-year writing seminar. “It got a little awkward in there for a bit, but I believe it’s really important to let…
ITHACA, NY—Tuesday’s election exposed a number of shortcomings in Republican incumbent Marc Molinaro (5’7”) when he fell short of being reelected by a number of votes and inches. Noted DC insider Josh Riley (6’7”) ran a successful campaign that rose above partisan differences, and Marc Molinaro (5’6”). “I wasn’t originally going to vote for Riley…
What is supposed to be a routine bathroom visit quickly turns into a nightmare whenever the automatic toilet begins flushing of its own volition. At its core, this is a question of man vs. machine. We are in a time of widespread uncertainty and hesitation regarding the role of artificial intelligence in our society. Yet,…
