WILLARD STRAIGHT HALL STAIRCASE—In a landmark win for woman across the nation and Cornell University’s campus, Sophie Yaxley ‘24 witnessed the unthinkable as a girl “man-walked” up the stairs two-at-a-time in a “watershed moment” for gender equality. “I didn’t even know we had the ability to do that,” said Yaxley ‘24, “I was absolutely stunned….
WILLARD STRAIGHT — Following invitations to ‘Celebrate our next female president,’ the Cornell Democrats’ welcome party for Cornell’s newly announced 14th president Martha E. Pollack seems planned with someone else clearly in mind. “A lifelong fighter for children and families, from her time at Wellesley College in the 1960s to her recent term as Secretary…
GATES HALL—Group projects are crucial educational tools for building skills of collaboration, critical thinking, and problem-solving for students across the classroom. But for Jamie Hanizo ‘25, this communalistic fantasy quickly became a nightmare. As he wandered into his 10:10 AM Information Science discussion at 10:09 AM, Hanizo was greeted with a horrifying sight: the student’s…
PEPSICO AUDITORIUM– In an attempt to encourage healthy on campus living habits, Cornell Dining, Cornell Health, and the Cornell Department of Nutritional Sciences have released a food guide recommending that students consume 12 servings of PepsiCo products every day. “Many young adults find out that college is the time to start thinking about what you…
ITHACA—In a statement released late on Sunday evening, Cornell University President Martha Pollack refuted claims that she had promised an in-person event for this fall’s commencing ceremony. According to Pollack, the initial statement assuring students that convocation would be held in-person had not actually been issued by her, but by her evil twin, Gartha. “It…
As a write r and loyal Corne ll st udent , I a pplau d the admin istra tion’ s com mitme nt to free expre ssion . The presi dent’ s fig ht fo r fre e spe ech i s imp ortan t and brave . “Fr eedom of Ex press ion” truly…
We here at CU Nooz seek to provide our readers with the key facts they need to choose which candidate they think is best suited to serve as president of the Student Assembly. So here are the reasons you should vote for each of the SA Presidential election candidates: Vote for Matthew Stefanko if: You…
BAKER FLAGPOLE—Though Cornell students are no stranger to the cruel whims of fortune, a select group of weary holiday travelers were quite surprised to experience an ever elusive “kind” turn of fate. After several hopeless hours of accepting that they would never make it to Binghamton due to the inoperable state of their bus, the…
My dearest Cornell community—you see us wandering about campus in our finest nightgowns, draped dramatically over the lavatories, or reclining in our sumptuous beds that do nothing to alleviate our physical agonies, but do you truly care about us? Lately I have been witness to a dangerous trend, one that puts my entire community at…
104WEST! — Panic erupted at Cornell’s Jewish dining hall on Wednesday, when several patrons discovered that a non-Jew had gained access to the premises. The goyish intruder, Sean O’Flynn ’16, made it past the first few tiers of security and was almost about to eat his lunch before the alarms went off. “A breach like…
