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Sunday, November 8, 2026
“Why Do Weed-Out Classes Even Exist?” Frowns Crabgrass-Shaped Student
Novick’s Fall Menu Still Just Muddy Puddle Water Scooped Around the Back
Report: Skepticism Up 60%?
Swing Voter Would Vote Blue But Ughhh Trump Is Soooo Relatable When He Starts Going On Tangents About Men’s Bodies
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“Why Do Weed-Out Classes Even Exist?” Frowns Crabgrass-Shaped Student
Novick’s Fall Menu Still Just Muddy Puddle Water Scooped Around the Back
Report: Skepticism Up 60%?
Swing Voter Would Vote Blue But Ughhh Trump Is Soooo Relatable When He Starts Going On Tangents About Men’s Bodies
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

“Why Do Weed-Out Classes Even Exist?” Frowns Crabgrass-Shaped Student

2 days ago2 days ago

Novick’s Fall Menu Still Just Muddy Puddle Water Scooped Around the Back

3 days ago3 days ago

Report: Skepticism Up 60%?

3 days ago3 days ago

Swing Voter Would Vote Blue But Ughhh Trump Is Soooo Relatable When He Starts Going On Tangents About Men’s Bodies

5 days ago5 days ago

Aww! Rhode Island Going to Hold Cute Little Elections, Too

6 days ago6 days ago

Trump Administration Questions Whether Black Friday Got There on its Own Merit

12 months ago9 months ago

Fun Aunt Put Marshmallows in Hers

12 months ago12 months ago

“Just Happy to Help”: Dud Brother Unloads Dishwasher

12 months ago12 months ago

“Quiet, Piggy!”: Donald Trump Denounces Consumption of Pork in Attempt to Impress Zohran Mamdani

12 months ago12 months ago

Trump: ABC Reporter Lucky She Not Sawed Up in Saudi Embassy

12 months ago12 months ago
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A.D. White Professor-At-Large Finally Apprehended

Nooz Staff9 months ago9 months ago02 mins

DANBURY, CT—After decades on the run, Cornell’s Andrew D. White Professor-At-Large was located and taken into police custody earlier this morning. The disgraced ex–faculty member, formerly known as Dr. Robert LeRoy, was forced from his position after a fierce parking dispute and went on the lam in 1965. Later that year, the vengeful Board of…

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Trustee Meeting on Improving University Transparency Closed to Public

Nooz Staff8 years ago01 mins

DAY HALL—In response to mounting criticism, the Board of Trustees has announced to the Cornell community that their meeting to address the matter of insufficient university transparency will be closed to the public. “We would like to reiterate to the students, faculty, and staff who form the heart of this university that we are committed…

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