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Stampeding OurBus Herd Crushes Unsuspecting Subaru
4 days ago4 days ago
Aww! Discussion Section Classmate Says First Words
5 days ago
Cornell Republicans Blame Radical Left for Shutdown of Morrison Dole Whip Machine
1 week ago1 week ago
National Guard Numbers Dwindle as Troops Assimilated into Greater Portland Polycule
1 week ago1 week ago
Flipped Classroom Professor Not Sure What’s Going On, Asks If You Have Any Idea
1 week ago1 week ago
Senior Still in Model UN Working Towards Killer Common App Resume
2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Graph Theory Professor Planning Trip to North Campus Stumped by Odd Number of Bridges

Nooz Staff3 weeks ago3 weeks ago02 mins

KÖNIGSBERG, NY—A tenured professor in the Department of Mathematics postponed a field trip to North Campus this weekend after stumbling upon a perplexing mathematical problem while planning the class’s route. “It’s remarkable,” said Dr. Leonhard Garner, scribbling furiously on a piece of yellowed parchment. “Suppose one intends to traverse the Fall Creek gorge in a…

BREAKING: Easily Countable Number of Freshman Larger Than Easily Countable Number of Rooms

Nooz Staff2 years ago3 weeks ago03 mins

WEST CAMPUS—Hoping to snag a coveted slot on West Campus, numerous rising sophomores were disappointed to learn that they would instead be living nowhere. While many housing lottery participants had worried that they might end up in Cascadilla Hall, they had not thought to worry that the Department of Housing & Residential Life would forget…