GOLDWIN SMITH HALL—Earlier this week, students in GOVT 1111: Introduction to American Government attempted to hear from a distinguished guest lecturer as he was drowned out by a Clif Bar wrapper. “I was starving,” explained James Deng ‘29, who skipped breakfast to get to class on time. Students reported a noisy rustling of papers as…
URIS LIBRARY—Despite increasingly unsubtle attempts to temper expectations for an upcoming group presentation, straight-A classmate Ava Hoffman ‘28 still hasn’t taken the fucking hint. “I don’t think this is going to be graded too harshly,” said Gavin Wu ‘27, who knew he was completely fucked when Hoffman created a group chat three weeks before the…
OLIN LIBRARY—Between clubs, jobs, and homework, it can be difficult for busy students to tackle entire books for class. What’s more, searching the library for an assigned book can further complicate conquering an assigned reading. For one lucky student, however, the pre-annotated copy he picked up from Olin tells him exactly what’s important. “At first,…
GOLDWIN SMITH HALL—Not even ten minutes into a two-and-a-half hour class, students in GOVT 4250: American Political Institutions report that Professor Jeremy Gilmore is already starting to get all worked up about the lecture material. Students braced for the inevitable crush of boredom as Professor Gilmore ascended his soapbox and began preaching about something to…
GOLDWIN SMITH HALL—During a government discussion section last week, one student, Courtney Howe ‘29, took a large step towards actualizing her humanity by saying her first words. The comment shook the classroom, which had become accustomed to Howe silently sitting in the furthest left corner of the room. “I agree,” she said, rocking in her…
ROCKEFELLER HALL—Cornell University prides itself on its vigorous commitment to the art of teaching and falsifying RateMyProfessor reviews, a dedication no less visible than in its insistence to let Professor Henry Fiske teach PHYS 2215 as a flipped classroom. Some students aren’t pleased by the teaching model, and much less pleased with Fiske himself. “He…
URIS HALL—After years of silence, biology student Jada Stanley ‘27 has come forward with shocking allegations about her lab’s research. “I just needed a few samples of the Epstein-Barr virus for a test I was running,” said Stanley. “When I put in my request, my bosses started acting strange. They wouldn’t give them to me….
ENGINEERING QUAD—With a new class of bright-eyed first-years settling into Cornell, the University’s many student organizations are seizing new recruitment opportunities. Project team members, in particular, have pounced at the chance to contact human life, move their limbs, get fresh air, et. cetera. “Hey! Do you share your life, too?” asked Dalia Good ‘26, an…
URIS HALL—The second week of classes started uneventfully, with students settling into their routines and professors getting to know their classes. However, a few terrified students in Uris Hall G01 were in for a cruel surprise. “The professor seemed more irritated than last week. Maybe because only half the class showed up after he said…
OLIN LIBRARY—With the end of the school year quickly approaching, many students have begun to write their final papers. Unfortunately, this endeavor has not been completely successful in every case. “There’s all this hype about L-DOC that I just don’t understand,” said Josh Richards ‘26. “I have a 30-page paper on Tibetan Buddhism due tonight,…
