Nooz Explains: 15 Exciting Ways to Set Off the Fire Alarm at 2:30 in the Goddamn Morning

TONI MORRISON HALL—Tired of losing sleep because some dipshit in your dorm forgot to take their popcorn out of the microwave? Worry not! The CU Nooz editorial team has assembled a list of wacky new arson alternatives for those pertinacious pyromaniacs—so next time you’re startled awake by a blaring siren in the middle of the…

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Engineer Studies In Statler Library To Microdose Having Fun in College

STATLER—The Nestlé Library in Statler Hall is designed to be a collaborative work zone for Hotelies. Every so often, however, Eva Pearson ’25 stumbles in from the neighboring Engineering Quad.   Pearson finds the space a welcome break from the everlasting torment of her sad, analytical engineering peers. “Being constantly surrounded by misery is bad for…

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