TOMPKINS SENIOR LIVING CENTER – Stating “it was a hard decision but the right thing to do,” Cornell University has relocated its oldest professors to a nursing home. The move wasn’t easy for Cornell; some of those professors were like grandparents to the university. However, there were numerous incidents in which the professors could have…
OLIN LIBRARY—Between clubs, jobs, and homework, it can be difficult for busy students to tackle entire books for class. What’s more, searching the library for an assigned book can further complicate conquering an assigned reading. For one lucky student, however, the pre-annotated copy he picked up from Olin tells him exactly what’s important. “At first,…
As the 14th president of Cornell University, it is my responsibility to ensure the well-being of the more than 20,000 students who study, work, and live in Ithaca. To that effect, my administration has made tremendous strides towards improving the student experience; from somewhat reducing the amount of asbestos in a few buildings to making…
WILLARD-STRAIGHT HALL – Denice Cassaro lay awake all night haunted by the specter of a bored student who, in the absence of any fun events on campus, just went to bed early. “I’ve worked so hard to make sure that students are aware of the fun, engaging community events happening around them at all times…
SCHOELLKOPF FIELD—In a closed door meeting last Thursday prior to Cornell Football’s 8-14 homecoming loss to Georgetown, several of the team’s seniors hatched a plan to lose the game on purpose. “This is our last chance to play a homecoming football game in front of our classmates,” said Cornerback Erik Urbon ‘20, “It wouldn’t feel…
After the defeat of the German department, Temple of Zeus has been divided between the Russian department, the English department, the French department and Department of American Studies. These new boundaries were organized by American Studies professor Marshall Goldberg, and are part of a greater relief effort known as “The Marshall Plan.” Reports from the Russian department…
GOLDWIN SMITH HALL—With ClubFest around the corner, Cornell’s on-campus organizations have already begun the frantic race to recruit the newest crop of bright, eager young minds. Veteran students know that this is a marathon, not a sprint; lengthy application processes reward only the most determined, tenacious, and desperate candidates. Alpha Zeta Delta Pre-Business Fraternity has…
DAY HALL – After a night of intense partying, President Elizabeth Garrett woke up this morning with both a massive hangover and immense regret from drunkenly ordering a new academic building to be constructed on campus. “I don’t even remember buying a new building, but I got an email confirmation that I did at 2:30AM…
THE COMMONS—To accommodate those observing Yom Kippur this Saturday, Ithaca’s 35th Apple Fest will offer apple-scented candles for sad fasting Jews. “We’re happy to satisfy all religious needs,” said community organizer Lori White with a welcoming smile. “There’s nothing like smelling the essence of what everyone else is blissfully eating to make you atone for…
WILLARD STRAIGHT — The latest Cornell blood drive is sparking renewed frustration as donors receive their results from the required test taken before donation. Red Cross representative Katherine Lea reports, “The median blood type was around a B. This is a slightly above average result and the students should be very proud.” Chris Tanner, ‘18,…
