CU Nooz – Page 173

Administration Demolishes Low Rises for Pre-frosh Visits

Nooz Staff9 years ago9 years ago02 mins

LOW RISES – In what has been widely regarded as a violation of students’ rights, the Cornell administration has decided to demolish the Low Rise dorms in anticipation of Cornell Days this weekend to improve first-impressions prospective students have of North Campus. “We just want to make sure visitors get the best possible experience and…

ILR Seniors Excited to Start Lucrative Union-Busting Careers

Nooz Staff3 years ago3 years ago03 mins

IVES HALL–Following four years of social activism, labor history, and education critical of corporate America, graduating seniors in Cornell’s School of Industrial and Labor Relations are itching to drop the act and use that knowledge to destroy unions for large sums of money. “It’s been four years of hard work, twenty-page essays, and thousands of…

“My Free Speech is Being Impinged,” Writes Yet Another Student in Largest Campus Newspaper

Olin Basement and Third Floor Mann to Hire Bouncers to Better Facilitate Exclusive Social Atmosphere

Insomnia Cookies to be Replaced by Paranoia Undercooked Meats

Hookup Not Long Enough to Catch COVID or Make Her Orgasm

Athletic Department Changes Mascot to Pack of Gum

Uh Oh! Worst Person You Know Still Talking About Steve Aoki Concert

Administration Demolishes Low Rises for Pre-frosh Visits

ILR Seniors Excited to Start Lucrative Union-Busting Careers