NOOZ VIEWZ | The Editorial Board Endorses John McNair This weekend, hundreds of high-achieving high-schoolers, as well as low-achieving high-schoolers under a lot of parental pressure, descended on campus. They have aspirations of coming together to solve pressing global issues like hunger, poverty, and some of that icky tricky Middle-East stuff at the annual Model…
SKYBRIDGE: Residents of Court, Kay, Bauer, and Mews Halls announced this morning plans for a charity carwash to raise money for residents of the High and Low Rise residence halls. “We are all Cornellians. To see members of our family suffering in the slums of North Campus is heartbreaking. Now it’s our time to show…
GATES HALL — After an increasing number of students confused by the process of unsubscribing to an e-list, the Department of Computer Science faculty have announced plans to offer CS 0900: Leaving Listservs in the Digital Age. “More and more students of the Cornell community are beginning to realize that part of having a fulfilling…
RPCC- Senior Jessica Parker got together with her friends from her former Low Rise 6 unit for dinner at Robert Purcell Community Center this past weekend after no longer being able to tolerate her other friends. “It’s great to see these guys. It’s been way too long,” described the nostalgic civil engineer, who over time…
Say, that’s a pretty nice immune system you’ve got there, isn’t it? It’d be a shame if… well if something happened to it. We wouldn’t want that, now would we? Look, I’m just saying that these things break all the time. People get sick is all. People get really, really sick. And you don’t want…
STATLER HOTEL—Three things in life are certain: death, taxes, and a Hotelie informing unsuspecting, regular people of their “major” completely unprompted. One pair of hotel students has taken this fact to a new level, rethinking the societal norm of oversharing. “We like to practice our craft in interesting ways; just last week I organized my…
DAY HALL — Administrators in Day Hall for the past few weeks have basked in the luxury of their massive campus bureaucracy, reveling in their absolute power as the myth of shared governance spreads across campus like a disease. Sources close to the building reported large numbers of faculty in the unruly beast of a…
NEW HAVEN, CT- The job market for Cornell students graduating in 2014 is looking great, according to the mother of Kyle Westing, ’14. “Cathy’s son, remember him? He just got a job out in California. You’ll be sure to find a job!” said Mrs. Westing, talking to the 22-year-old archaeology major over the phone. With…
ITHACA, N.Y. – Although Rush Week at Cornell University can be hectic for the many involved, the stress has been overshadowed by what many are calling a “selfless outpouring of giving.” Multiple sources confirmed that female rushees are donating their footwear to the needy Ithaca community by leaving their boots outside sorority houses. “Uggs, Hunters,…
COLLEGETOWN—At a Chi Alpha Tau party on College Avenue this Saturday night, sophomore Jordan Felane raised concerns by pairing his impressively detailed cat costume with a disconcerting enthusiasm for the canonical lore of Erin Hunter’s seminal cat-war novel series Warriors. “I wouldn’t expect Twolegs to understand, but you might have a chance,” Felane explained to…
