STATLER– In a scheduling mishap likely to elicit several complaints with seniors, this semester’s Wines final exam has been scheduled to finish just minutes before the school’s Tightrope Walking final deliverable. “I’m so fucked,” exclaimed one Wines student. “My palette is a little weak, so I have to drink a bit more than everyone else…
ITHACA, N.Y. — I’m no address connoisseur, but I’ve always been an avid fan of the Cornell Daily Sun’s journalism. Ever since I opened my first newspaper, I’ve developed an unhealthy addiction to their integrity, professionalism, and of course, their relevant reporting. To express my appreciation, I decided to rank the top 10 addresses of…
GREATER TRI-STATE AREA — After frantically packing and driving for five hours straight, Sharon Crane ‘18 arrived home for winter break with the leftover anxiety she stored up for finals still buzzing in her head. “I know that I’m done with exams and all of the stress is behind me, but I can’t shake the…
Over the weekend university officials in the Undergraduate Admissions Office and the Office of Academic Diversity Initiatives revealed their new method of admitting students to create a class that is “100% diverse”. The new admissions scheme, starting with the Class of 2018, aims to make the incoming student body exactly mirror the racial, geographic, and economic…
ITHACA CITY HALL — Clad in his signature pitch-black leotard and sporting a headband with his logo on it, Ithaca Mayor Svante “The People’s Champion” Myrick announced an ongoing campaign to viciously elbow-drop the problems facing Tompkins County residents. “Yeah, choke slamming the growing heroin epidemic was just the beginning,” declared the People’s Champion, pausing…
MORRISON HALL — Administrators in the Department of Animal Science have officially announced that ANSC 3240: Introduction to Hog Wranglin’ will be offered to CALS students as part of the 2015 Fall curriculum. The course will expose undergraduates to the intricacies of a good ol’ fashioned swine tussle while emphasizing the core principles of the…
After ten years of proud service as Head Chef of Cornell Dining, Jeremy Rogers finally revealed in a tell-all interview how he bakes his world-famous vegan cookies. According to Rogers, the trick to making his plant-based desserts so delicious has been none other than fresh butter churned right at the Cornell Dairy farm. Rogers explained…
OLIN LIBRARY—It’s in with the new and out with the old at Olin Library during its new renovations! The flooring, walls, ceilings, and furniture of the building will get an upgrade, but the transformation will also replace the old and dirty Rare Books collection with newer, more modern literature. A dusty, vibe-killing original copy of…
EDDY STREET- A group of friends was pleasantly surprised early Tuesday evening when their roommate arrived home with a young woman whom he introduced as his girlfriend. Fred Michaels, ‘23, astonished his roommates when he brought home Kendall, his lab partner, whom he had recently begun dating. “It was a total shock,” said Kyle Jones,…
STEWART AVE—With the return of generations of Cornell alumni to Ithaca this coming weekend, the roads of Collegetown eagerly anticipate the opportunity to bump, scratch, and totally annihilate vehicles of all shapes and sizes. Particularly excited and primely located is the historic brick road portion of Stewart Avenue. Decades behind in much needed repairs and…
