New Cornell Mental Health Service Just Two Suspicious-Looking Italian Guys With A Baseball Bat
HO PLAZA—Following multiple reports of substandard mental healthcare accessibility on campus, Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) were restructured to just be two malicious-looking Sicilian men with baseball bats “We’re just here to help, capisce?” claimed new CAPS counselor Antonio Gambino. “If you’re feeling down in the dumps, just come on up the river and I’ll…