Fuck, Summer Halfway Over

sadsummer

NORTHERN HEMISPHERE — Thousands of Cornell students came to the conclusion today that, holy shit, summer is more than halfway done. Damn. “It’s almost August already?! When the hell did that happen?!” exclaimed Cecilia Verona ’18 after realizing that after two months, she no longer has time to accomplish everything Read More

Supreme Court Decision Won’t Change Mom’s Opinion About Motorcycle-Riding Bradley

bad-boys

Following the Supreme Court decision this past Friday legalizing gay marriage in all 50 states, honor student Timothy Adler ’17 and notorious bad-boy Bradley announced their intention to get engaged, much to the chagrin of Adler’s mom. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m very accepting of my son and I’m thrilled Read More