Heroin Scavenger Hunt Ruined by Police

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STEWART AVENUE PARKING LOT- Cornell’s fourth annual heroin scavenger hunt was ruined last Monday after spoil sport police officers confiscated the heroin from festival organizer Roshane Henry before he and his team had the chance to hide the remaining 250 packets of heroin. “My ten year old loves the scavenger Read More

Prelim Not Ready for You Either

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CALL AUDITORIUM—A mere five weeks after the commencement of Spring semester, the BioEE 1780 Preliminary Exam found itself being passed out to 229 students in Call Auditorium.  It had only just dawned upon the Prelim that these bright-eyed faces were waiting to scratch their threateningly sharp pencils on its freshly Read More

Cornell University Suspended For Hazing Fraternities

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DAY HALL – Cornell University was informed this morning that it will be placed under interim suspension for “credible evidence” of hazing fraternities, with actions such as “frequent suspensions” being reported. “We believe that Cornell has broken numerous rules in the way they are dealing with fraternities on campus, and Read More

IknowagirlJanet Whosthebestlittleontheplanet Reported Missing

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NORTH CAMPUS – A somber mood has struck the Cornell campus today as student IknowagirlJanet Whosthebestlittleontheplanet has been reported as missing. Local authorities have been asking members of the surrounding community if they’ve seen Ms. Whosthebestlittleontheplanet, who was last seen on Facebook two days ago but has never been seen Read More