college of agriculture and life sciences

Nutritional Sciences Major Eating Cucumber Like a Banana Knows Something You Don’t

Nooz Staff2 years ago2 years ago02 mins

KINZELBERG HALL—After multiple passers-by observed nutritional sciences major Anthony Walters ‘23 eating a cucumber as one might consume a banana, sources confirmed he must have access to some insider information. “There’s no way he’s just eating that because he enjoys it, right?” said civil engineering major Madison Davies ‘24. “Like, pickles I could maybe understand,…

Relationship Between Animal Science Professor and Lab Tech Draws Criticisms After Revelation That They Began Working Together When She Was Just A Calf

Nooz Staff2 years ago2 years ago02 mins

FRANK MORRISON HALL—Animal Science Professor Dr. Cleetus Conroy came under fire from campus critics this week after the revelation that his long standing relationship with one of the lab’s research cows began when she was only a calf. While many had looked fondly upon the human-cattle couple, this new discovery has ignited a hotbed of…

Local Sicko Runs for Campus Villain Position

OpaVote? Hell Yeah, I Love Gangnam Style!

“Then Came Locusts, Vermin, and Wild Beasts!” Says Review of Collegetown Apartment

CU Nooz Editorial Board Endorses John McNair (Sophomore, Forest Hills High School) for Model UN Secretary General

Cornell Outdoor Education Lends Tents, Tarps to Admitted Students

“It’s Been the Best Four Years of My Life!” Admitted Student Tour Guides Notably Excluded From Freedom of Speech Protections

college of agriculture and life sciences

Nutritional Sciences Major Eating Cucumber Like a Banana Knows Something You Don’t

Relationship Between Animal Science Professor and Lab Tech Draws Criticisms After Revelation That They Began Working Together When She Was Just A Calf