Ann Coulter Rejects Freedom of Expression Ice Cream Flavor, Argues It Has “Too Much Chocolate”

CORNELL DAIRY BAR–Cornell alum Ann Coulter ‘84 returned to campus this week to enlighten the misguided student body about the sorts of ideas actually protected under freedom of expression. After explaining to her audience how immigration will kill us all or something like that, Coulter switched gears to sample the flavors of the Freedom of…

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Qatar Campus To Celebrate ‘Limit of Expression’ Year

EDUCATION CITY, QATAR—  Dear Cornell Community,  Freedom of Expression is the foundation of academic understanding, breathing life into knowledge and inspiring impactful advocacy. Some may even say that Free Expression is indispensable. But here at Weill Cornell Medicine in Qatar, we actually think it’s a little dispensable. To this end, I’m glad to announce our…

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Paris Climate Conference Concludes Ice Cream Melting at a Faster Rate than Previously Thought

RPCC DINING HALL – The world’s leading climate scientists confirmed that the scoop of French vanilla ice cream Jordan Chaplain ’19 placed on top of his waffle has shown signs of premature deglaciation, at a rate much faster than experts previously surmised, as concluded at climate talks in Paris this past week. “What we’re seeing…

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