ITHACA, NY- Anticipating torrential rains, infestation of all crops via locusts, and crevices opening up to reveal the fiery pits of Hell, Cornell has announced that they have considered canceling classes for this Wednesday. As of now, students who have classes at times before 10 a.m. will fortunately avoid the rapture for a few more…
ITHACA, NY – With the impending snowstorm, the university has expressed excitement over all the potential student-built snow sculptures they hope to see tomorrow. Officials said, “Every year we always get the same few students trying to be funny and building a giant snow penis. We hope this year is different and students tap into…
Ithaca, NY – After finding that a puffy layer of snow had fallen while he was sleeping, Mayor Svante Myrick could hardly contain his excitement. ” Snow Day!” he shouted, immediately rushing down stairs to put on his lucky hat and his favorite pair of mittens. “I’m gonna build a snowman, and make snow angles….
