Skip to content
Thursday, October 1, 2026
Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 
Student Who Chose Cornell For Top 12 Ranking Forced to Transfer
Your Friend Who Happens to Have a Car is Actually Funniest, Coolest, Most Attractive Person Ever
Kotlikoff Frustrated by Inability to Send Nationwide Email
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 
Student Who Chose Cornell For Top 12 Ranking Forced to Transfer
Your Friend Who Happens to Have a Car is Actually Funniest, Coolest, Most Attractive Person Ever
Kotlikoff Frustrated by Inability to Send Nationwide Email
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 

4 hours ago4 hours ago

Only Minority in Friend Group Already Knows Who She Going to Be

11 months ago11 months ago

Ambitious Group Project Member Needs To Take The Fucking Hint

11 months ago11 months ago

Motivational Message Etched Into Library Desk Undermined By Penis Right Beneath It

11 months ago11 months ago

Polycule Sex Cult Still Calling Itself “Co-Op”

11 months ago11 months ago

Cornell Announces “Raw Chicken Wednesdays” to Slim Down Large Freshman Class

11 months ago11 months ago

Americans Defeat Fascism by Putting On Greatest Talent Show This Nation Has Ever Seen

11 months ago11 months ago

Mamdani Debates Cuomo As World War I Flying Ace Curtis Sliwa Dogfights Infamous Red Baron

12 months ago

Pre-Annotated Library Book Tells Student Exactly What Important

12 months ago7 months ago

Professor Getting All Excited About Life’s Work Again

12 months ago12 months ago
  • Home
  • 2016
  • April
  • 6

April 6, 2016

  • Uncategorized

Well, Entire Cheesecake in Jansen’s Market Sure Isn’t Going To Eat Itself

Nooz Staff10 years ago10 years ago02 mins

JANSEN’S MARKET — Onlookers in Noyes came to the conclusion earlier this afternoon that the entire cheesecake staring at them from the lonely refrigerated display wasn’t going to eat itself after all. “One thing’s for certain: that scrumptious-looking dessert has no capacity for autophagy and no one else in this line has the guts to…

Read Full News
You're never going to believe this but "This organization is a registered student organization of Cornell University." Newsmatic - News WordPress Theme 2026. Powered By BlazeThemes.