Skip to content
April 22, 2026
  • University Report Finds Students Need to Be Better Supported, but Ugh, It So Much Work Though
  • E&S Major Using ChatGPT Calls It Even
  • Harry Potter Ass Motherfucker Studying Under Olin Stairs
  • Aww! Daily Sun Wants to Be Just Like Favorite Satire Publication When They Grow Up
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
  • CU NoozMagazine | Spring 2025 Issue
Headlines
  • University Report Finds Students Need to Be Better Supported, but Ugh, It So Much Work Though

    4 hours ago4 hours ago
  • E&S Major Using ChatGPT Calls It Even

    6 hours ago6 hours ago
  • Harry Potter Ass Motherfucker Studying Under Olin Stairs

    1 day ago1 day ago
  • Aww! Daily Sun Wants to Be Just Like Favorite Satire Publication When They Grow Up

    1 day ago1 day ago
  • Ty Dolla $ign Still Waiting for OurBus Back From Syracuse Airport

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Kotlikoff Sowwy For Washing Away Political Chalk Messages, Just Wanted To Play Hopscotch

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Home
  • 2018
  • March
  • 1

March 1, 2018

  • Uncategorized

University Just Cancels Class Because It Didn’t Do The Reading

Nooz Staff8 years ago02 mins

DAY HALL—After pulling an all-nighter and taking two prelims this week, the exhausted University has decided to just cancel class because it didn’t do the reading. “Usually I just squeeze out some state-of-the-art bullshit for participation credit, but fuck it—I’m so done with this semester,” said the University while getting ready to go out for…

Read More
  • Uncategorized

Five Missing in Amazon After Latest IFC Jungle Juice Gathering Expedition

Nooz Staff8 years ago02 mins

AMAZON RAINFOREST, BRAZIL—Tragedy struck the IFC last week when five students failed to return from the organization’s annual mission to collect the increasingly scarce jungle juice. “While we mourn the loss of our fellow brothers, we know their tragedy was not in vain. Each cooler we fill with the sweet jungle nectar this semester will…

Read More
You're never going to believe this but "This organization is a registered student organization of Cornell University." Newsmatic - News WordPress Theme 2026. Powered By BlazeThemes.