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March 16, 2026
  • Short Ginger Friend Hides Box of Edibles at End of Rainbow
  • “It’s 6 O’clock Somewhere”: Upperclassman Begs to Not Pay Bus Fare
  • CTB Declares War on Qahwah House, Fires 300 Espresso Shots
  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long
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  • Short Ginger Friend Hides Box of Edibles at End of Rainbow

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • “It’s 6 O’clock Somewhere”: Upperclassman Begs to Not Pay Bus Fare

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • CTB Declares War on Qahwah House, Fires 300 Espresso Shots

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long

    4 days ago4 days ago
  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges

    4 days ago4 days ago
  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester

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March 1, 2018

  • Uncategorized

University Just Cancels Class Because It Didn’t Do The Reading

Nooz Staff8 years ago02 mins

DAY HALL—After pulling an all-nighter and taking two prelims this week, the exhausted University has decided to just cancel class because it didn’t do the reading. “Usually I just squeeze out some state-of-the-art bullshit for participation credit, but fuck it—I’m so done with this semester,” said the University while getting ready to go out for…

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  • Uncategorized

Five Missing in Amazon After Latest IFC Jungle Juice Gathering Expedition

Nooz Staff8 years ago02 mins

AMAZON RAINFOREST, BRAZIL—Tragedy struck the IFC last week when five students failed to return from the organization’s annual mission to collect the increasingly scarce jungle juice. “While we mourn the loss of our fellow brothers, we know their tragedy was not in vain. Each cooler we fill with the sweet jungle nectar this semester will…

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