WASHINGTON D.C.—The actions of the Trump administration have left many federal workers confused and anxious about their futures. With previously indispensable positions being eliminated left and right, even those in seemingly stable fields have started to worry.
For the first time, Andy Galeano of the Department of Job Stability and Secure Income has started to question the stability of his job and the security of his income. “I didn’t really consider that I could be next on the chopping block until Trump’s administration started firing some of my buddies in the Unfireable Division and even some important folks over in the Bad Things Will Happen If You Fire These People Department,” shared Galeano.
With a method that can only be described as “pickin’ out all them exotic names,” the Trump administration has continued poking holes into institutions who have been serving the American people for decades. Most notably, the almost-century-old Department of Unexpendable Processes and Irreplaceable Findings had to close its operations indefinitely due to massive budget cuts and understaffing.
At press time, the Department of Job Stability and Secure Income received word that their funding would need to be examined more closely, as the administration claimed they were practicing “wasteful spending” after discovering that the department was paying their minority employees a salary.
