URIS HALL—A new Cornell Daily Sun column entitled “Abstinence on Mondays” is facing intense backlash from Cornell Republicans. The conservative group has called the column offensive to individuals (such as themselves) who practice abstinence daily.
Cornell Republicans Vice President Simon Beck ’26, who has not touched a woman in many, many moons, released a statement condemning the column for its free speech implications. “Relegating abstinence to one day of the week is simply another liberal attempt of silencing real conservative values, such as involuntary celibacy.” Beck further criticized the column for not including any Republicans on its staff: “Had they made an effort to listen to conservative viewpoints, they could have run ‘Abstinence Daily’— and I could have easily supplied a writer for every day of the week.”
Other conservatives took issue not only with the frequency of the column, but its content as well. They felt “Abstinence on Mondays” did not accurately reflect the manner in which they practice their sexless, womanless lives.
“It shows abstinence as a matter of ‘self-care’, which was rather confusing,” remarked Cornell Republican Diego Martinez ‘27. “That has not exactly been my experience. The last time I tried to hit on a woman, she explained that her rejecting me was as a direct and natural consequence of me promoting bigotry, treating her as an object, and disregarding her basic human rights. My abstinence isn’t of my own volition. But it also isn’t my fault: why do females now-a-days have impossible standards?”
It’s unclear if the outrage over “Abstinence on Mondays” from Cornell Republicans was shared only by the male members of the group. At press time, the woman in the organization could not be reached for a comment.
