COLLEGETOWN—As Ithaca faces one of its coldest winters in recent history with temperatures reaching terrible numbers such as 2, or in some cases 1, many are opting to spend their nights indoors. Even the most winter-hardened students who hail from the chilly north have surrendered to the frigid weather, and the once bustling and vibrant…
TITUS FLATS, ITHACA—One Cornell first-year’s visit to the Ithaca REI Co-op was confounded by her fellow shoppers’ on-brand clothing choices. Delaney Huelster ‘29 anticipated a short trip to the store to purchase new winter boots. Unbeknownst to her, the REI, which is located at South Meadow Square Shopping Center and offers a wide variety of…
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the fatal shootings of two Minneapolis residents by federal immigration agents this month, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) has responded forcefully to public demands for action. “The administration’s behavior in Minneapolis is unacceptable,” he said at a press conference. “That is why Senate Democrats will be voting against DHS funding this week—unless,…
SAINT PAUL, MN—Amid widespread backlash against an ICE agent’s killing of Alex Pretti in Minneapolis last week, top Minnesota Democratic officials addressed calls for action at a press conference Wednesday morning. “In times of crisis, leaders need to be strong and clear,” said Governor Tim Walz. “So, I will talk directly to President Trump: my…
MARTHA VAN RENSSELAER HALL—Last week, Cornell’s College of Human Ecology (CHE) announced it had received a “transformational” donation for the school’s “Vision 2030” initiative. The donor, Adam Hitler ‘73, is a successful entrepreneur who graduated from the CHE. Despite his significant contribution, the college announced its name would not be changed to reflect the philanthropist’s…
Yeah, so, I guess I’m just a little bit confused. From my research, I was led to believe that there would be more to this whole “hockey” thing, but it was no more than just men hitting a puck around with sticks. You see, I watched the entire Cornell versus Harvard hockey game, and none…
BARTELS HALL—Alexander Pope ‘28, a self-identified social climber, is turning heads at Lindseth Climbing Center with his friendly demeanor. “Climbing is better with buddies!” remarked the beaming sophomore transfer, dusting his chalky hands on a pair of well-worn sweatpants. “I’ve been climbing since the fourth grade, and the thing that always keeps me coming back…
When I first heard the rumor that the US economy was being propped up by artificially inflated growth in the AI sector, I thought it was laughable. But the signs keep piling up, and if twenty years on Wall Street have taught me one thing, it’s that selling off before a crash is pointless on…
MORRISON DINING—Elite soldiers from the U.S. Army’s Delta Force captured an unknown quantity of oils, sauces, and udon noodles in a daring pre-dawn raid on Morrison Dining’s West Side Grill Wednesday morning. Shortly before 9:00 a.m., President Trump posted a picture of the seized foodstuffs on Truth Social. This official acknowledgement of American military action…
COLLEGETOWN—With frigid temperatures forecasted for the Ithaca area this week, Cornell senior Danny Trelawny ‘26 is facing a cold, dangerous reality of his own. “I’m screwed,” Trelawny said beneath three layers of scarf. “The temperature with wind chill is higher than my GPA.” Trelawny has trodden slippery academic ground since the fall of his first…
