KÖNIGSBERG, NY—A tenured professor in the Department of Mathematics postponed a field trip to North Campus this weekend after stumbling upon a perplexing mathematical problem while planning the class’s route.
“It’s remarkable,” said Dr. Leonhard Garner, scribbling furiously on a piece of yellowed parchment. “Suppose one intends to traverse the Fall Creek gorge in a closed path such that one utilizes each bridge once and only once. This would necessitate… no, impossible! The structure is isomorphic to…” The mathematician’s mumbled musings trailed off as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
Garner claims that a rigorous evaluation of his bridge dilemma has the potential to revolutionize the fields of mathematics and computer science, as well as improving the livelihoods of traveling salesmen worldwide.
Yet not all of Garner’s colleagues share his enthusiasm. While some describe his work as an integral part of the department’s research, others have dismissed it as derivative.
Enid Watts ‘27, one of Garner’s topology students, is also concerned by her professor’s preoccupation. “I just want him to solve the thing soon so we can go on that field trip,” she explained tearfully. “They never let the math majors leave Malott Hall. I haven’t seen the outside in two years.”
At press time, Garner had reportedly solved the bridge problem. When asked to provide evidence of its resolution, Garner claimed that the proof is trivial and should be left as an exercise to the reader.
