ITHACA, N.Y. — I’m no address connoisseur, but I’ve always been an avid fan of the Cornell Daily Sun’s journalism. Ever since I opened my first newspaper, I’ve developed an unhealthy addiction to their integrity, professionalism, and of course, their relevant reporting. To express my appreciation, I decided to rank the top 10 addresses of their writers. Trust me, #11 will *SHOCK* you. So, without further ado…
1. 139 W State St., Ithaca, NY 14850
The reigning champion has to be the Cornell Daily Sun headquarters in downtown Ithaca. Inside, members of the writing staff typically dwell in the basement where they subsist on pipe insulation. This innovative working environment is truly world-class, which leads me to rank this address a 9.5/10.
2. 929 Danby Rd, Ithaca, NY 14850
929 Danby Road was once occupied by a cohort of Sun Writers, and I must say, they had great taste. This charming nineteenth-century building was tucked far away from Cornell’s campus, giving a close-knit group of Sun Writers some well-deserved privacy. Unfortunately, the house was bulldozed a year ago by Ithaca College to make room for a seventeenth parking lot, sponsored by Walmart. 7/10.
3. Ganędagǫ: Hall, 121 Triphammer Rd, Ithaca, NY 14850
While I can’t bring myself to pick a specific room because multiple Sun writers live here, I can assure you that Ganędagǫ:’s halls echo with sheer journalistic brilliance. In fact, some of Ganędagǫ:’s most pioneering residents, including the bear skinner and arsonist, were actually Sun writers. Way to go, guys! 9/10.
4. 401 Lake St., Ithaca, NY 14850
This cozy little abode is currently being leased by Leslie Brandt ‘27, a member of the Sun’s editorial board. Leslie’s favorite hobbies include skiing, landscape photography, returning home at 7:30 pm on weekdays, and leaving an extra pair of house keys under a false rock near the steps. Definitely worth a visit! 8/10.
5. 10 Downing St, London SW1A 2AA, United Kingdom
Now this one is impressive. Kier Starmer ‘85 is a staff writer for the News department who is a self-proclaimed “old soul” and never seems to be on campus, possibly because he lives in London. The house itself is prime real estate and certainly one of the coolest addresses on this list. 5.5/10.
6. 1000 Mansion Drive, West Egg, NY 11020
It’s a mighty fine place, don’t get me wrong, but there’s something awfully sinister about Jay Gatsby ‘27, an Arts & Culture writer at the Sun. I just can’t trust a man like that. Trust issues aside, this property has some strange visitors. I once accidentally bumped into a violinist Gatsby had hired and I was impaled by a violin bow in retribution. 7/10.
7. 9317 Clara Dickson Hall, Ithaca, NY 14850
I have been a loud hater of Clara Dickson Hall since I learned how to pronounce the word “dick.” This particular dump of a dorm room is occupied by Charles Rasmussen ‘29, a writer for the Sun’s lifestyle department. Rasmussen cleans his room twice a semester with a modest misting of Febreeze. 4/10.
8. 492 Pfeiffer Hall, Cornell College, Mt Vernon, IA 52314
Two Sun columnists, Elvira Faustina ‘28 and Olive Matrona ‘27, somehow ended up dorming at the wrong Cornell. Really funny, guys. Really funny. You traitors disgust me. 2/10.
9. The Depths of Cayuga Lake
It is rumored that underperforming writers are tossed into Cayuga Lake to “swim with the fishes.” I personally don’t want to mess with the Sun’s organized crime branch, so I’m going to stay far away from this address. 1/10.
10. Melissa’s Dad’s Private Jet, 1 Culligan Dr, Ithaca, NY 14850
Melissa Bezos ‘26 is a columnist who claims that she “basically lives on [her] dad’s private jet, LOL.” Admittedly, this address is pretty unique, so I was planning to rank it at #7. However, it soon dawned on me that Melissa actually writes for the Cornell Review instead of the Daily Sun. Immediate 0/10.
11. Honorable Mention: McGraw Tower, Tower Road, Ithaca, NY 14850
Of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t include the iconic McGraw Tower. It is well known that an ancient nephilim cabal resides in the pyramidal roof, but many are unaware that this cabal is entirely composed of Daily Sun editors. Biblical legend claims that they were permanently confined there as a punishment for their sins, which explains why Daily Sun articles are not currently proofread by anyone. This address proved to be my ultimate favorite, so naturally, it earned an honorable mention.