Skip to content
April 22, 2026
  • University Report Finds Students Need to Be Better Supported, but Ugh, It So Much Work Though
  • E&S Major Using ChatGPT Calls It Even
  • Harry Potter Ass Motherfucker Studying Under Olin Stairs
  • Aww! Daily Sun Wants to Be Just Like Favorite Satire Publication When They Grow Up
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
  • CU NoozMagazine | Spring 2025 Issue
Headlines
  • University Report Finds Students Need to Be Better Supported, but Ugh, It So Much Work Though

    5 hours ago5 hours ago
  • E&S Major Using ChatGPT Calls It Even

    7 hours ago7 hours ago
  • Harry Potter Ass Motherfucker Studying Under Olin Stairs

    1 day ago1 day ago
  • Aww! Daily Sun Wants to Be Just Like Favorite Satire Publication When They Grow Up

    1 day ago1 day ago
  • Ty Dolla $ign Still Waiting for OurBus Back From Syracuse Airport

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Kotlikoff Sowwy For Washing Away Political Chalk Messages, Just Wanted To Play Hopscotch

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Home
  • cornellactivities

cornellactivities

  • Uncategorized

Papa Bear? Touchdown Denies Fathering 5 Illegitimate Cubs 

Nooz Staff3 years ago3 years ago02 mins

SCHOELLKOPF FIELD–The world of low-performance sports was rocked this Friday when a coalition of five she-bears announced that they had each given birth to one of Touchdown’s cubs this past breeding season. “While students think of Touchdown as cute and cuddly, this teddy bear gave my clients more than just a bear hug,” alleged the…

Read More
You're never going to believe this but "This organization is a registered student organization of Cornell University." Newsmatic - News WordPress Theme 2026. Powered By BlazeThemes.