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December 15, 2025
  • Catch Me If You Can! CUPD Seen Sledding Down Slope in Pursuit of Evil Students Vandalizing Libe Slope with Evil Sleds
  • Angsty Student Body Clearly Has Study Period
  • Olin Elevator Dead at Level B
  • Partisan Gerrymandering Threatens to Remove 15 Seats from Uris Library
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  • Catch Me If You Can! CUPD Seen Sledding Down Slope in Pursuit of Evil Students Vandalizing Libe Slope with Evil Sleds

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • Angsty Student Body Clearly Has Study Period

    4 days ago4 days ago
  • Olin Elevator Dead at Level B

    5 days ago5 days ago
  • Partisan Gerrymandering Threatens to Remove 15 Seats from Uris Library

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • Fatass Inducted Into Dining Hall of Fame

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • Willard Straight Hall Turns 100, Runs for Congress

    2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
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Entire Nation Way Too High and Paranoid to Leave House Right Now

Nooz Staff6 years ago03 mins

USA—Reports and online activity from across the country indicate that citizens are far too fucking zoinked to go outside at the moment. “It’s just that the outside world is super scary right now,” said Brent Rant ‘22, who is currently fried inside his Bend, Oregon home. “For example, my neighbor could notice how totally stoned…

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