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May 19, 2025
  • Despotic Senior Declines to Answer Whether They’ll Seek Third Term as Club President
  • In Historic Show of Power, Student Assembly Votes to Politely Ask for More Power
  • L-DOC? My Final Essay Fucking Sucks
  • Construction Workers Declare Occupation Of Libe Slope As Clock Tower Fences Expand Into New Territory
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President Pollack Christens New Health Building with Ceremonial STD Test

Nooz Staff8 years ago02 mins

CORNELL HEALTH—President Martha Pollack officially marked the opening of the new Cornell Health building this week by christening it with a ceremonial STD test. “By taking this symbolic STD test, I am happy to usher in a new and improved healthcare system here at Cornell,” President Pollack remarked before informing the registered nurse that she…

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