Okenshields Fork Crust Applauded for Contributions to Biodiversity Research

OKENSHIELDS—In a discovery that shocked the Cornell scientific community, researcher Monica Pondey found the Ecology department’s next major breakthrough as it was mere seconds away from being plunged into her Friday lunch.  “Based on the color or texture I was about to eat either mac and cheese, stir fry, or soup,” recalled Pondey. “Nevertheless, inspiration…

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Professor Adds Epstein Files Acknowledgement to Email Signature

ITHACA, NY—On Monday morning, Samuel Whitmore ’27, a student in Professor Daniel Sarver’s Ethics in Business course, noticed something different when he received an email from his professor. Near the close of the message, students were met with an additional paragraph between Sarver’s office location and the university’s standard land acknowledgement.  “I live and work…

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