EDUCATION CITY, QATAR— Dear Cornell Community, Freedom of Expression is the foundation of academic understanding, breathing life into knowledge and inspiring impactful advocacy. Some may even say that Free Expression is indispensable. But here at Weill Cornell Medicine in Qatar, we actually think it’s a little dispensable. To this end, I’m glad to announce our…
DAY HALL — Cornell Office of Financial Aid announced plans to both end need-blind admissions for international students and raise tuition last week after they had, for the second time, wired ten million dollars to a self-proclaimed Nigerian Prince over Western Union and needed to make up the lost capital quickly. “We will begin admitting…
COLLEGETOWN—After months of putting in absolutely no effort to secure an internship for the summer, Tanmay Anand ’21 was relieved that he finally landed a coveted Job Opportunity. “I still haven’t gotten around to actually apply anywhere, so I’m guessing some recruiter found my Linkedin and emailed me thinking I’d be a perfect fit,” Anand…
It is often said that success at Cornell is nothing short of a heroic feat. It takes brave, strong, and savvy students—truly exceptional students, not the ones who merely think they have those qualities and join ROTC—to navigate the university’s harrowing challenges. This semester, I have confronted the school’s mythical academic rigor head-on as I…
ITHACA — As Cornell’s Sesquicentennial celebrations come to an end, students, alumni, faculty and more are still in shock that the university was able to survive for the past 150 years. Many among the Cornell community thought this school would have collapsed much sooner, and it is truly a miracle that it was able to…
DAY HALL—Following the discovery of swastikas drawn in snow on North Campus this week, Vice President for Student and Campus Life Ryan Lombardi has been desperately pleading for students to return to the snow penises of the past. “Please, for the love of God, go back to penises,” Lombardi wrote in an email to students,…
Yeah, so, I guess I’m just a little bit confused. From my research, I was led to believe that there would be more to this whole “hockey” thing, but it was no more than just men hitting a puck around with sticks. You see, I watched the entire Cornell versus Harvard hockey game, and none…
ITHACA — A horrendously lost man was seen wandering the streets of downtown Ithaca asking locals how to get to the nearest beach. The man was reportedly on vacation in Ithaca with his wife and two children, adamant about swimming in the ocean. “Hey, can you show me where we can catch some waves?” asked…
HOLLAND INTERNATIONAL LIVING CENTER—Low Rise 8 residents were completely unaware of the recent campus-wide power outage, due to no apparent change in their daily routine. Students in the oft-forgotten International Living Center have become accustomed to a dorm without lights, and many thought it was the norm for on-campus living.
STATLER HOTEL—School of Hotel Administration student Michael Lowett ‘18 took over this week’s Establishment dinner with an experimental and unorthodox meal solely comprised of small geometric patterns. Lowett described his menu as “a piece that captures the duality of life and religion,” but when customers showed up for the event, almost no food was served….
