MORRISON HALL—Late at night, many students will use “instant foods” to fuel themselves during their long stretches of studious work. But this semester, residents at Morrison Hall have been trying a new brand of instant ramen for anything but their studies.
“Usually when I’m trying to be a nuisance and wake up my neighbors, I need to spend money on a loud speaker or a drum set,” explains Barry Baines ’28. “But now, I can just start a fire with nothing but ramen! How convenient!”
Baines showed off the instant ramen packet, which went into detail on how to evade suspicion while maximizing annoyance. Instructions included waking up the dorm hall at 4:36 AM and targeting students who get cold really easily at night.
Next week, Baines hopes to buy the updated version with chunks of half-cooked noodles which promise to stain the microwave permanently.
