TEAGLE HALL — Cornell Junior Evan Moore was diagnosed earlier this week to have athlete’s foot, specifically that of Craig Jones, a Senior forward for the Big Red Men’s Basketball team. How Moore acquired the foot is unknown, but CUPD estimates that was originally stolen from Jones’ Collegetown apartment early Monday morning. The foot appeared…
BECKER HALL — The monster under the bed has expressed concern for Ryan Levine ’18, who has gotten almost no sleep in the past week due to mounting problem sets and extracurricular obligations. Every night for the past few months, the monster has attempted to spook Levine, but his recently disturbed sleep schedule has the…
LIBE SLOPE—Now free to lie down in the grass watching the sunset after an hour of playing frisbee with friends, graduating senior Adam Schumacher ‘17 finally has time to enjoy his undergraduate years at Cornell. “I’d been completely bogged down with homework, clubs and tests since I was a freshman, but after finishing my last…
Update: In response to receiving a cease and desist letter from Coach USA’s assistant general counsel demanding CU Nooz remove the “libelous article concerning Shortline’s bus services as well as libelous comments attributed to representatives of Shortline”, this article has been updated to reflect that the student did not, in fact, spend the entirety of…
A generous donation from Ann S. Bowers ‘59 has allowed Cornell’s College of Computing and Information Science to embark on an ambitious multi-year project aimed at finally helping its 2,000 students reach second base. “As CIS grows in scope and scale, we seek to prioritize the needs of students in our strategic development, which is…
I was sitting in my first Zoom class of the semester, blissfully chewing the singular grape I salvaged from the Toni Morisson honeydew trough, when my FWS professor asked us to debrief on the 200-page reading assignment that, quite frankly, I thought was a joke. I laughed for a moment, thinking that it would be…
BAKER LAB–When Elliot Sandleford ‘26 finally settled on his spring semester lineup, he expected his course-related troubles to be over. “I spent weeks rearranging my Scheduler,” said Sandleford. “I had to get it exactly right, where I would have 8:00 AM labs every morning but also somehow no time to eat lunch.” Although the Arts…
PHILADELPHIA, PA — After getting out of bed at 1:45 PM and briefly considering looking at his calendar, Ted Jackson ‘17 concluded it was already too late to be productive over winter break. “I’m really trying to make the most out of the holidays,” Jackson said while gnawing on frozen pizza from the comfort of…
Between the new Gates Hall and the goal of Klarman Hall behind Goldwin Smith, University contractors have been busy with construction for the past few months. And after an ambitious announcement made this past Friday, they have a whole lot more to look forward to. University officials have drawn up a new plan for campus…
URIS LIBRARY — Library Director Vera Mathelson announced that Cornell will begin a trial-period for the temporary checking out of self-esteem, self-confidence, and other measures of self-worth. “We identified a deficit in Cornell students of that special kind of happiness which can only be gained through positive reinforcement and a strong sense of self-esteem. We’re…
