STATLER HALL— Going through the syllabus on the first day of classes can be boring at best. To make things more interesting, some professors, like Professor Henry Frost, have incorporated comedy into their syllabi. According to Sonja Perry ‘28, watching Professor Frost going through the syllabus in HIST 2480 “was literally like watching a Netflix…
WILLARD STRAIGHT HALL STAIRCASE—In a landmark win for woman across the nation and Cornell University’s campus, Sophie Yaxley ‘24 witnessed the unthinkable as a girl “man-walked” up the stairs two-at-a-time in a “watershed moment” for gender equality. “I didn’t even know we had the ability to do that,” said Yaxley ‘24, “I was absolutely stunned….
ITHACA FARMERS MARKET—As formal season approaches, sorority women across campus are steadying themselves for the yearly tradition of taking their high level of self-worth and throwing it straight out the window. “Normally, I never would have allowed my grand big to set me up with her anxious, emaciated lab partner,” grimaced Lauren Saltzman ’20. “But…
ITHACA- In a study put out by Gannett Health Services, it was discovered that at least 95% of all free condoms given out in their main lobby are used by students to try to impress their friends. “I think I’ll just grab two for now, that should be fine for the next week or so”…
ROCKEFELLER HALL—During his Intermediate Quantum Mechanics lecture, Professor Zhao urged his students not to hold back and to ask questions about anything they’re unsure about, unless, of course, he can’t answer the question himself. “Come on, guys,” Zhao said, finishing an illegible problem on the board, “You can ask me any question you can think…
ITHACA– Reports are surfacing that on Sunday morning, current freshman Eric Holt woke up to find himself sleeping on a couch in his dorm’s lounge rather than in his bed. Within a few seconds of waking up, Holt remembered why: he had been sexiled, or sexually exiled, by his pre-frosh guest, Jonny Dixon. The…
BAKER LABORATORY — As the semester begins to pick up, both love and germ particles are in the air, causing many campus couples to catch more than just the love bug. Students Tyler Robinson ‘29 and Lacy James ‘29 met in their 9 AM lecture and immediately clicked. They had an organic sort of chemistry…
WILLARD STRAIGHT HALL—Yesterday’s announcement that Varun Devatha ‘19 will be the next Student Assembly president brought a tumultuous election cycle to an end, leaving students eager to return to the days of ignoring all news related to the Student Assembly. “First there was the whole Cornell Cinema debacle, and now this convoluted presidential election fiasco…
BECKER HOUSE—Once again approaching the midpoint of the semester, students are faced with the question: How am I actually doing? The answer for most undergrads, all too stubborn to admit to their innate and undeniable blemishes, proves to be simply “really good,” despite the fact that several recently consumed lubricant out of curiosity. When approached…
ITHACA—As seniors prepare to leave campus, they must come to terms with having to say farewell to their dear friends. Many freshmen, on the other hand, face a different problem: faking any semblance of sincerity in their goodbyes to senior acquaintances. Kyle Fernsby ‘23 is among the population of freshmen who aren’t friends with seniors,…
