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Cornell Christian Club Turns Rain into Wine Tour
2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
Kotlikoff Carefully Maneuvers Around Key Detail at Day Hall Incident
3 weeks ago3 weeks ago
“I Overcame a Lot of Diversity to be Here,” Says White Dude in Discussion Section
3 weeks ago3 weeks ago
Despotic Senior Declines to Answer Whether They’ll Seek Third Term as Club President
1 year ago1 year ago
In Historic Show of Power, Student Assembly Votes to Politely Ask for More Power
1 year ago1 year ago
L-DOC? My Final Essay Fucking Sucks
1 year ago1 year ago

Professor Begs Students to Make “Very Informed Decision” About Turning In Their Homework

Nooz Staff4 years ago4 years ago03 mins

MALOTT HALL—In a passionate display of wishy-washy spinelessness, math professor Audrey Cook took the first twenty minutes of her morning lecture to plead with her students to really, really think about whether they should bother handing in their homework. “Listen, I know you all cheered last week when I said you didn’t have to do…

Light Slowly Leaves Professor’s Eyes as He Realizes No One Did The Reading

Nooz Staff8 years ago02 mins

GOLDWIN SMITH HALL— Enthusiastic Classics professor Jonathan Whistler spent the first four minutes of class prodding his students to analyze the reading before it slowly became apparent that not a single student in the class had even opened the 25-page PDF posted on Blackboard. “Please,” he said softly, though he by then knew there would…