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Friday, September 11, 2026
Mama’s Cleverest Boy Stumped by Strange Clothes-Washing Machine
Cornell Republican Sheds Red Nose and Polka Dot Romper, Slinks into Suit for Rare ClubFest Metamorphosis
English Department Receives $12 Grant
Level B ‘Underage Tuesdays’ Sees Commercial Success, Legal Ramifications
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Mama’s Cleverest Boy Stumped by Strange Clothes-Washing Machine
Cornell Republican Sheds Red Nose and Polka Dot Romper, Slinks into Suit for Rare ClubFest Metamorphosis
English Department Receives $12 Grant
Level B ‘Underage Tuesdays’ Sees Commercial Success, Legal Ramifications
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Mama’s Cleverest Boy Stumped by Strange Clothes-Washing Machine

1 day ago1 day ago

Cornell Republican Sheds Red Nose and Polka Dot Romper, Slinks into Suit for Rare ClubFest Metamorphosis

2 days ago2 days ago

English Department Receives $12 Grant

2 days ago2 days ago

Level B ‘Underage Tuesdays’ Sees Commercial Success, Legal Ramifications

3 days ago3 days ago

Birder Actually Not Sure About That One

3 days ago3 days ago

Professor Spices Up Syllabus With Jokes Like “Attendance is Mandatory”

1 week ago2 days ago

Outfit Shabby Enough to Do Work in Math Library Today

1 week ago1 week ago

Super Seniors Devastated to Learn of “No Game” in Freshman Dorms

1 week ago1 week ago

Worst Guy You Know Looking For Manic Pixie Tylenol Users

12 months ago12 months ago

Wasian Student Association To Host Mixer

12 months ago7 months ago
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move-in

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“This Hotel Is Almost as Nice as the Ones You’ll Inherit,” Says Hotelie Mother Visiting Statler

Nooz Staff4 years ago4 years ago01 mins

After lodging in the Stater Hotel during move-in, Dr. Justine Quality-Inn Ph.D. ’94, mother of Alex Quality-Inn ’24, informed her daughter that the hotel was “not bad for Upstate,” but was no match for the hotels Alex will one day inherit. “This is fine, I guess,” says Alex. “My mom told me I should expect…

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11th Plague of Egypt Descends Upon Command Strip Section of Bed Bath & Beyond

Nooz Staff7 years ago01 mins

BED BATH AND BEYOND—Ithaca’s own Bed Bath & Beyond was struck this past week by a new, never-before-seen curse from the heavens above. This eleventh plague wreaked havoc on the aisles dedicated to command strips as well as their off-brand alternatives. “It was horrifying, I’d never seen anything like it,” said Cashier Josephine Selter  “So…

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Incoming Freshman Lays Out Outfits For Every Day of First Year

Nooz Staff9 years ago01 mins

MADISON, WI—After emptying her closets and pulling out suitcases in preparation for move-in day, incoming freshman Becca Miller laid out outfits on her bed for every day of her first year at Cornell. “I know I’ll have so many other things on my mind, like moving into my dorm, figuring out where my classes are,…

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OP-ED: Will You Be My Best Friend for the Next Four Years?

Nooz Staff9 years ago9 years ago02 mins

By an incoming freshman Hey guys! My name is Owen and I’m in the Cornell University Class of 2021! Just thought I’d introduce myself before move-in. I’m hoping to make a new friend or two, or maybe actually find my best friend who will stick with me for the next four years and then for…

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