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April 11, 2026
  • “I Don’t Think They’re Talking About the Language Anymore”: Concerns Grow about Friend Pursuing Italian Minor
  • Programming Board Announces Roster of AI Musicians for First Annual Slop Day
  • Heartwarming! Cornell Sun Writer Not Sure What “News” Is, Publishes Article About Their Tuesday
  • He is Risen! Student Who Spent Spring Break in Alcoholic Stupor Miraculously Attends 9 AM Lecture
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  • “I Don’t Think They’re Talking About the Language Anymore”: Concerns Grow about Friend Pursuing Italian Minor

    19 hours ago19 hours ago
  • Programming Board Announces Roster of AI Musicians for First Annual Slop Day

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Heartwarming! Cornell Sun Writer Not Sure What “News” Is, Publishes Article About Their Tuesday

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • He is Risen! Student Who Spent Spring Break in Alcoholic Stupor Miraculously Attends 9 AM Lecture

    4 days ago4 days ago
  • “What Are You Talking About? Slope Day Just Happened”: Administration Tries New Tactic After Failing to Source Replacement Artist

    12 months ago
  • Two Birds, One Stone! Jerry from Craigslist Booked as Slope Day Headliner, Convocation Speaker

    12 months ago12 months ago
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Sadness

  • Student Life

OP-ED: Love Triangle? Pentagon? I’m in a Love Dot

Nooz Staff4 years ago4 years ago03 mins

MALOTT HALL—Last week, I briefly overheard Stacy and Emily talking about their floundering love lives between bites of food at Trill. Stacy lamented that Liam from her discussion section has a thing for her, even though Stacy is actually crushing on Rachel from that same section, who is also in love with Liam. Tragic! And…

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Okenshields Employees Unsure How to Handle Everybody Crying Into Their Salads

Nooz Staff9 years ago01 mins

OKENSHIELDS – Citing multiple instances of muffled sobbing, exasperated gasps, and flat out bawling, Okenshields employees are reportedly unsure how to deal with most patrons crying directly into their make-your-own salads. “Um, I mean I just kind of refill the spinach when it gets pretty low, but I feel like I should definitely be doing…

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OP-ED: I’m So Happy, Sad, Terrified, Overwhelmed, Thankful, and In Denial To Be Graduating

Nooz Staff10 years ago10 years ago05 mins

By a senior. Wow. Four years. Four years ago, I was an innocent and oblivious freshman, not knowing what college was going to be like and getting lost on the first day of class. I didn’t have a clue what I was getting myself into. And yet look how far I’ve come; in a few…

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