ARTS QUAD–WAHOO! It’s 75 degrees and sunny in Ithaca which means it’s time to lather on that sunscreen, blast those summer tunes, and proceed to the library as normal. There are prelims tomorrow.
“It’s gonna be so SICK dude!” exclaimed Thomas Roland ‘24. “First I’m going to walk to Olin as slowly as possible. I mean realllyyyy drag it out, ignoring the impending dread of being ripped from this delightful weather. Next I’m going to find the best spot to soak up those sweet rays. The tan is gonna go CRAZY!”
Spectators on the quad reported confusion toward Roland’s behavior.
“Oh yeah that guy? I think I remember him. He kept staring out the window wistfully at my friends and I while we sat on the quad,” reported Drea Day ’25. “I think he was, like, crying at some point? The weirdest part was when we were playing spikeball and he actually pressed both hands and his face to the window and slid down slowly like he was in a Disney movie or something. He left tear streaks on the glass. It was, like, so sad, kinda.”
Though his afternoon of enjoying the warm weather took a turn for the depressing, Roland knew just the remedy to save his day: fruity little cocktail to take the edge off and remind him of somewhere tropical. Upon discovering that Libe Café could not, in fact, make a Piña Colada or a Strawberry Daquiri, a defeated Roland reportedly slunk back to his seat only to discover it had been snatched in his absence.
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