Admitted Students Blockade Strait of Morrison Stir Fry

MORRISON DINING—In a dramatic escalation of Cornell Days tensions, Morrison’s vital Stir Fry Corridor has been shut down by a horde of admitted students and accompanying family members. The Class of 2030 Blockade represents the newest development in a region with a troubled history. “Passage through the strait was always precarious,” noted Morrison relations expert…

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“I Don’t Think They’re Talking About the Language Anymore”: Concerns Grow about Friend Pursuing Italian Minor

MORRISON DINING—For months, Nathan Reed ’26 has spoken passionately about pursuing an Italian minor. His peers recall him using phrases like, “I’m learning so much,” and “I’ve really been enjoying my minor.” Two of his friends, Joy Nguyen ’26 and Eric Walters ’26, assumed he was just really into the language, but they soon realized…

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Programming Board Announces Roster of AI Musicians for First Annual Slop Day

WILLARD STRAIGHT HALL—In an Instagram post Thursday morning, the Slope Day Programming Board revealed that Cornell’s iconic spring music concert will henceforth be headlined entirely by AI-generated artists. The group also promised to update the name of the beloved event accordingly. The news was met with considerable disappointment from the Cornell community, especially from those…

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