COLLEGETOWN—Ithaca winter weather brings plummeting temperatures and gale-force winds, making a meager 32 degrees feel like sub-zero. The temperature alone is enough to dishearten even the most ardent winter enthusiasts. However, there is but one force stronger than the most biting chill of a Cornell February, inextinguishable by the elements, that scarcely dims in the face of the strongest winds: the indomitable desire to go out on a Wednesday night.
This phenomenon has been observed in the most inhospitable weather conditions imaginable, and most recently, last night. Ramona Camacho ‘25 recounts hearing a swishing sound outside her window, then seeing what appeared to be a conglomerate of black polyester blobs in heels making their merry way down Dryden Road.
“At first, I thought, maybe it was some kind of creature or vehicle? But then one of them laughed at something and the others chittered in response. I realized it was not one entity but instead, many girls,” explained Camacho.
These amorphous gaggles of unconquerable spirit and nylon have adapted fascinating behavioral techniques to better operate in extreme winter conditions as they move from location to location.
“The wind blew and they all turned inward with their jackets to the outside, to protect the more vulnerable members of the clan,” stated one pedestrian. “They are very efficient. Actually, I may have even seen them absorb a small, slow-moving guy that was in their way.”
It is clear that while the Ithaca winters are strong, the drive to go to fishbowl with the girls is invariably stronger. At press time, the gaggle was asked for comment, but it merely giggled and shuffled away mysteriously.
