BAKER LAB—While taking a brief break from writing a song parody about organic chemistry that will serve as the final project in an upper-level course, chemistry major Donny Ramirez ‘23 remarked on his enjoyment of how “real” college feels relative to prior educational experiences. “I really love how much college prepares you for the workforce,”…
JAMESON HALL — For almost a full month, Jared Lake, a freshman in the College of Arts & Sciences, has been waiting impatiently for any reason at all allowing him to punch his roommate in the teeth without being reprimanded. “One wrong move. He just needs to make one wrong move and I’ll have carte…
COLLEGETOWN—Generously showing solidarity with small businesses, student Max Eagen ‘21 proudly donated to the latest GoFundMe to save Collegetown’s original restaurants. He also has yet to repay his roommate for brunch. “At first I just thought he was short on cash, which is totally fine,” said roommate Daniel Nakamura ‘21. “But then I got a…
UNITED FLIGHT 4390—Ornithology enthusiast Sam Harriman ‘27 got a real treat Thursday as his flight to Newark encountered a large flock of geese. The gaggle crossed the airplane’s path shortly after takeoff from Ithaca Tompkins International Airport. Harriman, an active member of the Cornell Birding Club, eagerly grabbed his binoculars and peered out the window….
WASHINGTON, DC—During an Oval Office press conference with Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman last week, President Trump fired back at a journalist’s question about the Middle Eastern leader’s role in the 2018 murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi. “You’re mentioning somebody that was extremely controversial,” Trump replied, referring to Khashoggi. “A lot of people didn’t…
STEWART AVE—The many responsibilities of a frat brother can be difficult to juggle. Managing throwing parties, violently hazing freshmen, and covering up said hazing all at once is a tough ask. So when pledge brother Austin Anders ‘26 was put on door duty for Alpha Pi Ro Kappa Delta Gamma’s Halloween party, mistakes–such as welcoming…
COMSTOCK HALL—Last week, Cornell received an OSHA complaint for improper use of personal protective equipment, following many students refusing to wear gloves in an Investigative Biology Laboratory. Some cite having a severe latex/nitrile allergy, others claim the glove sizes are woefully inadequate, and many blame it on an extreme downturn in pleasure. One student, Richard…
TEAGLE HALL — After failing to swim the requisite 75 yards, Elizabeth Garrett was disappointed to announce she had not passed the water safety competency test enforced by the University. She will now need to enroll in PE 1100 – Beginning Swimming and pass the course before the end of her tenure, in order to…
A few months ago, back at Cornell, my roommates got a little concerned when I came home trashed for the fifth night in a row. But I was out with friends, and I was just a social drinker. And then quarantine set in. I thought a few beers every night was normal. I’d have a…
