May 7, 2014

BENEATH THE LAW SCHOOL — The Overseers’ Council convened in a secret meeting chamber beneath the Law School to confirm that their project to tag all the students for an easier assimilation into the New World Order was a resounding success. Project leader and Illuminati member Denice Cassaro says, “The project went off almost without…

With Slope Day, Cornell’s end of Spring semester celebration and concert, coming on Thursday, it’s best to know what you’re getting into. CU Nooz is here to prepare you as best as possible for the day’s festivities. Tank tops are a Slope Day must, as they expose as much of your arms and shoulders as…